You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in- behind and before;
You have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is to wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
Who am I kidding when I think I can just stray away from the presence of God and be okay? How many times do I have to relearn this lesson to be able to understand, without God I am nothing. I can't get by on my own. When I find I'm at my weakest and I need someone to pour my heart out to I realize that God already knows. He knows what every tear I'm about to shed is over. But he'll listen to me over and over and over again. He'll hold me and love me and understand me. I try and satisfy this feeling of being loved by those around me and no one can really fulfill that desire like he can. I'm such a fool to think that I can do this on my own. I cannot run from him. I cannot hide from him. He knows me more than I'll ever know myself. My identity is in him. Not in pleasing those around me. Not in proving myself to those around me. I am strong in him and him alone. How could I be so mindless? I'm only human is just an excuse. I'm done with excuses and I'm here with reckless abandon.
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